I was asked to give a speech this past Friday for Relay for Life (Hudson). Here it is:
Public speaking is hard, and it can make people uncomfortable…so, if you want to picture me naked feel free. You like that don’t you?
Hi. My name is Steven Vincent Fiebig. I wear 100 different hats…PE and Health teacher, husband, father, landlord, restaurant owner (eat at The Rusty Nail).
Well, we are all here because somebody we know has Cancer. And that’s a crazy thing. I don’t remember this disease like this when I was a kid. What the hell happened? I’m not a huge conspiracy guy, but is it the food? Water? Air? Are we being poisoned somehow? You can’t help but ask these questions…Hopefully the money that is raised all across the country at Relay will help to determine what the hell is causing this, and how to cure it. Big kudos to those of you who pull these events off and make them happen!
When I was 27, my twin brother Brian was diagnosed with Leukemia. It was 2005…he was diagnosed in February…he had what we all thought was a spider bite. So, after a couple of days in the hospital he got the news that he had Leukemia. I can remember a volunteer wheeling him off for a transplant and him giving a thumbs up and a smile... He was so positive. I could tell you stories all night long about all the funny and crazy things that he did, but what I hope that you’ll remember is the lesson in life.
Brian passed away in October of that year. This was really the person that taught me about life. That was really when I starting thinking about mortality and how to try to really live.
Thinking back, his message was clear. Material things don’t matter. Money doesn’t really matter (yeah right ). You can’t take it with you. People matter.
I never saw anybody treat people more fairly, accept everybody regardless, and live an honest life of humor, and music, and content.
You see when he passed away, I never felt anything so numbing in my life. When I held his hand as he passed away, and I remember thinking “it’s ok to die”. The stars were never brighter to me than that night I got home.
I didn’t even know that it was possible to feel the way I did. Just nothing. Just numb.
I have a friend named Matt who lost his brother in Afghanistan. When his brother was killed by an IED, I told him that the gift that his brother gave him was invincibility. And you think of that in terms of superheros, and immortals, but I am invincible, and Matt is invincible. And perhaps you are too? Because when something like that happens to you, it does make you invincible. And so if you can cope, and remember with a smile, and embrace their lives, you can deal with anything.
Heads or Tails? Heads…right.
Heads or Tails? Nope…wrong.
Heads or Tails? Yep…correct.
Heads or Tails? Nope…incorrect.
That was my life in 2006. I had just gotten married (making my wife the luckiest lady on Earth) and we were on our honeymoon in Vegas. I was constipated. What the hell did I eat? Too much cheese at the Paris buffet?… So I came home, had a colonoscopy and my doctor told me I was the youngest person that he ever diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer. Oh boy…lucky me! Do I get a trophy or a medal or something. My doctor told me that I was a coin flip to survive five years.
Flip coin and put on ground under foot.
How do you make heads or tails of someone telling you that?
Should I pick heads or tails? Which one would you pick?
I like to gamble but this was a bet I didn’t want to make. So what do you do…
You do what anyone who is diagnosed with Cancer does…
You go to google. Then you start reading and filling your head with statistics and survival rates. And the computer screen becomes blurred as you try to read these horror stories though your tears.
You realize at the time that these rates don’t really mean a whole lot, and most of these charts and stats are prefaced with “everyone is different”. But you do it anyways.
The hardest thing about Cancer is that it tries to steal your dignity and strength and determination, and motivation, and fascination.
Been through 4 major surgeries…16 inches of my intestines out…three lung operations, two ribs taken out, surgical mesh in my back, my body is a roadmap of scars, But you can’t hurt me Cancer…I’m invincible.
You can’t hurt me anymore than I’ve already been hurt. It’s impossible. So I started laughing in the face of Cancer. And it’s scary and it’s a big ugly monster, but I laugh at it. I’ll combat it with a healthy diet, and exercise, and a positive attitude. And that’s what I’ve tried to do. Not always easy…
That’s the lessons that I’ve learned through all of this…keep smiling. Stay positive, because that is what my brother would want me to do. That’s what my kids would want me to do.
What do you think this coin under my foot is…heads? Tails? Doesn’t matter. A coin flip is something that decides kickoffs and close elections and who gets to ride shotgun in the car. Not a life. Not my life.
So…keep smiling, and believing and stay positive.
Thanks for having me.
Smile, today could be your last.
