Of all of the pictures that we got today at Knox's ultrasound, this one I thought looked the most like Cooper (minus the circle on the cheek). This is going to be amazing. Having two boys. I never thought it would happen to me, and I am so lucky to be able to experience this. Knox...I want to let you know how much you kicked while in Wendy's stomach. Even she couldn't believe how active you were compared to Coop. Perhaps you are getting it all out now, as I can't imagine you being more active than Coop is in our world...although anything is possible.

Tonight we went to get all of our pictures taken...pictures that I'm sure that you will see for years to come. It was hard to get your brother Cooper to kiss mommy's belly, but he did ok for being one. I can't wait until I can throw the baseball with you guys.

Well, I need to go to bed. I love my family. I love you Knox. I love you Cooper. I love you Wendy. Never, ever forget...that you can do anything in life that you want.

It's important to be good to people (I learned that from Bubba).

Smile, today could be your last.

...Here is a pic of Coop sitting in his old swing (Knox will get his crack at it soon).

Crazy day yesterday. Had a hard time getting up for work. Sat in my cubicle all day, then raced home to meet Jack to fix a sink at the rental. By the time I made it back to The Nail, it was time to unload a truck-full of wood, and go to the store to pick up the tool chest that Wendy bought me. Then off to Aldi's to get salt for the water softner. This was the best part of my day, because I got to hang out with Coop, and my old man.

After putting Coop to bed, Tomstang and I got to have a few beers. Good to talk with him. He reminded me of how fast life goes. "One day you'll wake up and your 60.", he said with his eybrows raised in amazement. We talked for a while about the uncertain future, and he reassured me that no matter what happens, Coop and Knox will be well taken care of. This made me smile, and feel a sense of warmth that a cannot describe. I am proud to have a father like him. He understands what is truly important in life.

...Smile, today could be your last.

I have always had a hard time expressing myself. I find it time consuming and frankly exhausting to tell someone else what I am feeling. And even though I struggle with this, I am usually never at a loss for words. Right now, I am not sure how to feel. A little on edge.

Here is the situation: I had a CT scan last week. She called the doctor's office, and although I had an appointment on Thursday, they want to see me today. I am scared. A while back, they found a nodule in my right lung. And although they would not call it cancer, they reassured me that it was not a huge concern, (although still a concern) and that we would watch it. Well, when Wendy called, they told her that there was some change, but they wouldn't tell her anything more. So, here I sit...at work, watching the clock.

When I found out that they want to see me today, I went for a walk. Down through Lock 3 to watch the ducks. I sat there for a while, praying. My head was filled with "What if" type of questions, all of which I know you can't do to yourself, but it is just the human reponse.

Let me ask this question, what would you do if someone told you that you had cancer?

What if they told you that you were a coin flip to survive?

How would your life change?

What would you do differently?

I've struggled with these questions for some time now. And really, I don't come up with much. You see, we all just have a limited time here, and it's really about getting the most out of each day. I thought long and hard about the things that I want out of my life...to watch my sons grow up, to take care of my family, and eveything else that I come up with is either very selfish, or really not all that meaningful. Knox is coming along in a few short weeks. I need to be here for the long haul.

I think that I need to take time this week to visit my brother. This is important to me.

Smile...today could be your last.

I really, really miss my brother today.

...Smile today could be your last.

Stuck on Nada Surf video's today at work...I do that when I don't want to deal with reality. The reality of my life. I am depressed today and needed a smile. I found it when I came across this video from The Beachland Ballroom (June 11, 2008). Easily the best show I have ever been to. Got to meet Matthew Caws, Ira Elliot, and Daniel Lorca. F'n Sweet. Was up on stage with the band, bought them a shot and a beer, and after the show Matthew played an acoustic set for like 30 people. It was awesome to say the least.

In this video, and the reason I am smiling now, is because I had a little to drink that night (wink, wink). At 3:52, I jump in early singing (off key)..."All I am is". It got a laugh out of the crowd, and Matthew acknowledges this with a tip of his guitar. Hillarious...at least to me anyway.

Check it out...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYhafB3Cqe0

Smile...today could be your last.

This was played at Bubba's funeral. It made me cry today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDmcBm93qHU&feature=related


Smile...today could be your last.

Haven't posted in a while...Got ripped off today, and wanted to share it with somebody I guess.

I logged into my bank account today online, and there was a charge on there for 648 dollars and change. Some bullshit charge to an online Turkish travel agency. Not sure how someone gets into my account, but if it's bad luck, it will happen to me. I am optimistic that this is pessimistic thinking, and it seems to be truth and fact.

Anyone you know lose their twin brother from cancer, and a year later get diagnosed themselves? Happened to me. Now I'm not down on myself, and I am certainly not giving up, because when something kicks me in the teeth, I'm going to fight it like a motherfucker until it gives in. I have fight in me. I am determined...I am tired of telling that sad story and having people feel sorry for me. When I go running this afternoon, I will stop and see Benny Cowgill, and read the inscription under his statue. "You can't let hardship get in the way. You can only do the best you can." Not an exact quote, but you get the idea.

Finally, to my son Cooper, and my unborn Knox...

I love you more than you realize. Don't ever stop striving to be the best.

...Smile, today could be your last.

So, I decided that I am just an angry poker player. I mean, I study the game...reading books, online articles, watching others...I try just about everything, and still come out on the losing end. I don't play for much, but when I do, it's seems to be only a matter of time before it's gone. I was watching some people I know who are winning online players, and they are not doing anything top secret. I mean, maybe there are people in the world who are just un-luckier than others. Maybe thats pessimistic thinking...maybe it's reality? Who knows. Let me give you one example.

I have pocket deuces. Flop...A 2 7, rainbow. Perfect. Dude bets, I raise, he goes all in, I call. He could've easily made the same moves having AK or AQ but nooooo...he has to flop over the nuts. These type of hands seems to happen to me over and over and over. I can't play this hand any better really, can I? Everything I have ever seen and read, talks about shoving with trips. Is it a bad beat, or just a bad play? Calling would have just delayed the heartache...

Anyway, I am taking a break. That would be the smart thing to do, especially since I am now so pissed off at poker.

I know that I can be a good, winning player in time. I watch the way that some of these players play, and it amazes me that they even have chips in front of them. I am going to rebuy in August. Giving me a nice 3-4 week hiatus. Then it's time to take home some big money.

...Smile, today could be your last.

Father's Day was good...Coop, you were still not feeling well, and wore Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa out. We all went to the car show at Stan Hywet in Akron. Good time, but Coop was a little crabby today. Tom brought down the church bulletin. Here is the link to it:
http://www.sjvmentor.org/Bulletins/Bulletin%20062109.pdf


Later in the evening, we ate pizza and chicken and Jo-Jo's and played some poker. All in all a good day. Coop and Wendy bought me a video camera for Father's Day. It is sweet. A flip camera, about the size of a bar of soap that you can plug directly into the computer. Technology is amazing. Here is one of the first videos from the new camera at the car show.

...Smile, as today could be your last.

What it Takes

I don't want to cut and paste this entire article, but it spoke so true to me. It was written by Paul Wasika. Give it a read (Click the link above)...I think you'll enjoy it. Personal reflection, poker, life...all of my favorite things.

There are four types of people out there. Those who possess natural talent and pick things up very quickly, but lack motivation. Those who have a tough time grasping things, but work their ass off and try their best. Those who have both; and those who have neither.

I definately fall into the second category.


Also, very excited that Wendy is having a boy. She likes the name Knox Bentley. It is growing on me.

...Smile today could be your last.

...Man, did you love that cake!

Before I get to my day of answering email, phone calls, grading papers and surfing the internet, I wanted to get the video posted of Coop walking. This video is from Coop's party which was on the Nail patio. It was a ton of fun. Cooperman got so many gifts, I joked that we would need to buy him his own shed just to store them.


It was absolutely amazing how you just stood up and walked the day before your 1st birthday. It was as if you were practicing behind everyone's back. Forget crawling, I can walk.

I was reflecting this morning about the night that my brother passed away. I can remember looking up at the stars with pain in my heart and wondering why the world can be so cruel. My point is that life goes by so quickly...You have to enjoy everyone, and everything to the fullest. I know it's a statement of the obvious, but it needs repeated and remembered.

Bubba...you were a funny motherfucker. I love you.

...Don't forget to smile, today could be your last.

...kicking your Mom's butt in poker (Wendy you still owe me $128.50).




Mom wrote your name in the sand.






There's nobody cuter.

Holy shit...life is crazy.
I often think about writing here, but time is so, so limited.

I just re-read a couple of past posts, and realized I haven't posted for four or five months. Time flys.

Here's the skinny:

Coop you are starting to walk. Well not really. You take a couple of steps and then fall. You are hillarious. I can't wait until you can talk, because I really want to hear you take on the economy, and the current status of the country. Just kidding...we'll start small.

You are growing up so fast. Already off baby food, stumbling around...and you have a birthday in a few days. Wendy is planning you a suprise party. Should be fun. I hope to get some pics posted for you.

What else is happening? You have a little brother or sister coming in October. Have any good names picked out? Wendy thinks Cooperman II would be good for a boy, but there's only one Cooperman.

I love you.

Smile...today could be your last.

Our Father,

Who Art Modell,

Football be thy game.

Thy move the team, and killed our dream,

On Earth as it is in Cleveland.

Give us this day a competent coach,

And forgive Steeler fans who trespass among us.

Mangini will lead us back to the playoffs...

And deliver us a championship.

A-Quinn

...Smile...today could be your last.

This photo was taken at J. Hunt's house. You were happy after we took off the snowman suit, and let you crawl around in your diaper.

Fr. Johns just finished baptizing you. He dumped some water in your eyes, but you were tough, and didn't even cry.

Here is a spooky pic from Halloween. Boo!

All things considered, life is pretty good. Going on vacation soon to the Riviera Maya (only a month away), so I am excited about that. The Nail, Coop, and teaching are keeping me pretty busy, as always, and Wendy always has something for me to do...lol. In all seriousness, she is the best wife ever, and you Coop are the cutest kid ever. Hard to believe you love someone so much, even though they keep you up all night. Go to sleep!

Here comes your first Christmas! I know you are excited.

Smile...today could be your last.

I went to Athens last week. Missed my brother's anniversary. I can't believe how time flies. Three years gone in the blink of an eye. I bet the next three go just as fast...I miss you Bubba.

What else has been going on...

Coop is growing up before my eyes. This pic is from over a month ago. Unbelievable.

Everything at the Nail has been ok. If we can make it through this economic recession, I think we will be very sucessful in the long run. Here is a shot of us on the roof filming our commercial.

I think my biggest concern right now involves money. I am trying to save for retirement, put some money aside for fun, save for Cooper's college fund, get the restaurant re-established, and provide my wife and son with solid finnancial futures. It is extremely difficult. I mean, I think when you tell people that you own a restaurant they immediately think that you are well off. Everytime I turn around I am spending money. For example, I had to buy a plow truck from a friend, so that I could plow my parking lot this winter. It was not an option. Other companies wanted $150 per push to do the lot. Might as well buy my own. I need to start saving some moeny...now. Don't wait another day.

What else? Browns suck. Fire Romeo. At least they are playing Brady now.

I think Coop is going to make a fine quarterback one day. I love you son...more than I can ever put into words.

Final thoughts: I went to see Dr. Payne yesterday. She is my Oncologist. She told me that I have a small cyst on my right lung above some scar tissue. She assured me that it is nothing to worry about. Everything else in the CT scan came back clear...so good news. I need to be around to watch the Cooperman grow up.
Coop: I am amazed by you.

Smile...today could be your last.

Wow. I have been so busy over the last few months; it is so hard to even find time to post. I realize that my last couple of posts have been me rambling about our busy lives, the restaurant, our son, my lack of time to do anything enjoyable. But, holy smokes…I really do mean just that. I can’t find time to do anything.

I went to work all day, completing the daily grind, got home, changed my clothes, and went to work in the restaurant all night with Chuck (our chef). Then got done about 9:30, took a shower, and played with Coop for about an hour. He is teething a bit, so by the time he calmed down (more like cried himself tired) I couldn’t have been more tired. I looked at my guitar, and my book, neither of which interested me more than laying down and resting my eyes. I went into the bedroom, put on the Indians game, and next thing I knew it was 4:00 in the morning, and Cooper was crying again. So, I got up-changed a diaper, fed him, and off he went to sleep again. I thought about coming into work early, and that thought faded as quickly as it entered my mind. Next thing I know, it’s 7:30 and I’m late for work. So, here I am. It’s 11:25 and I’m at my desk at work in Akron. It’s a tired and happy life.

Let me try to update what has been happening over the last several weeks…

We had a bat in the house a couple of weeks ago. My Mom came quietly knocking on our bedroom door. She said, “I think there is a bird or a bat in the house.” I said, “Where is it?” She told me it was in there bedroom. I asked here where Dad was, and she said, “He’s in there with the bat.” I said, “Why didn’t you wake him up?”

She is crazy.

Anyway, it was almost one in the morning, and I now had a bat flying around my house. I opened up the back door, hoping that it would go out, but nooooooo. Stupid bat wouldn’t go outside.

It landed in the corner of the entrance to my house. At least it was now sitting still. I had several ideas running through my head of how to capture this thing. I was holding a broom and thinking to myself, “I’ll smack the son-of-a-bitch, and kill it”. But how is a broom going to kill a bat. He’ll sense me coming a mile away.

So, I climbed up onto a bench and was practically looking the thing in the face. It’s one thing to get up close and personnel with bats or other animals at the zoo, but when you know they could fly at you at any moment, your heart starts beating through your chest.

Long story short, I used the broom to trap it in the corner. Then I used a towel to grab the bat and cover it up. I took the towel outside and peace was restored in the Fiebig household. Here’s a pic of the bat:


Cooper has begun rolling over, and as I mentioned he has a couple of teeth coming in. He is adorable.

Browns lost to the Steelers again…10 in a row. It’s hard being a Brown’s fan. When will they fire Romeo?

Restaurant is going ok. I don’t think people realize how difficult it is to succeed in the world today, especially those who have already made it. Support your local businesses. We enjoy having Big Pat at our place on Saturday nights. Wendy and I want to make it a once a month thing.

McCain and Obama continue to sling mud. Should be an interesting election.

Nada Surf is playing in Chicago on Nov. 29th. Maybe Wendy will let me go.

Finished the regular season in first place in fantasy baseball, but now playing for third. I should’ve played Shoppach and not V. Martinez.

I am thinking about selling my scoot and getting an older mustang. I think it would be neat to be able to go to some of these car shows with my old man.

Want to go back to school, but between time and money restraints, I’m not sure how this is possible right now.

I am working on a video of Cooper Guild’s young life. I hope to have it done next week.

Summer is gone. Fall is here and I’m sure will go equally as fast. I am looking forward to Jan. for my bonus check. We are planning a trip to the Rivera Maya during the last week of January. I can’t wait.

Smile…today could be your last.

Sung to the tune of Spiderman (or Spiderpig).

Cooperman…Cooperman…Does whatever the Cooperman does.
Can he talk, no he can’t, it’s because he’s only 11 weeks old.
Look out! Here comes the Cooperman.

I can’t believe how big you are and how much I love you. I took you shopping last week to Restaurant Depot. It’s not a very good place to take a little baby, but you were so good. Strangers really gravitate toward you. The girl behind the counter asked me your name, and I told her. Only, she thought I said “goober”. We all got a laugh.

Anyway, you are getting HUGE. And finally sleeping through the night (well, almost). I thank God on this one because as of today, I am back to work full time. With everything going on in our lives, I need to sleep a little bit. Between the rentals, restaurant, my teaching job, and you…I am sure busy. But it’s all worth it. By the way, I will be retired so we can hang out. Just what every kid will want in high school…to hang out with Dad.

I don’t have too much to talk about today, but just wanted to let you know Coop, that when I look at you, I am overwhelmed with love.

I love these pics…

Don’t forget to smile…today could be your last.

After reading an article on education titled, “Educating the Unmotivated"(Ronald W. Luce), I began to think about our traditional teaching methods. Perhaps it is not so much what we teach, but rather how we teach it, and how the students perceive to learn something. I mean, Ben Stein gets a bad rap for “Buheler, Buheler, anyone, Buheler” as well he should…but to me rings so true. I mean when you are in front of a class, that is primarily what kids hear from us. That is why I think it important for kids to see me and my subject matter as “cool”. Now do I really care that my students think I’m cool? Of course not. But if they perceive me as someone that they can listen and relate to, they will actually soak up what you are saying, and not hear the withdrawn Mr. Stein. Speak to students on their level…do NOT be too in charge. They know you are the boss already and do not need to be reminded of it all the time.

Educators need to get students interested in what they are learning.

Essentially, what we are saying is that what we have done in the past has not worked. Not at the school I teach at, not in traditional public schools, and not across the board nationwide. There is not one solution to this problem, nor is there an easy answer. But if can make learning fun, empower our students, get away from traditional teaching methods, and avoid being the boring Mr. Ben Stein, I think we are well on our way of seeing an increase of student motivation, test scores, and an all around better learning environment.

Smile...today could be your last.

Wow...It's been a while...I have been so busy, which if I remember right was the point of my last entry (I hate the word blog).

Anyway, I just wanted to touch base on a couple of things.

I can't belive how big my son is getting...I love you Cooper Guild.

Holy Crap! I am working full time as a teacher, trying my best to be a father and husband, and running a restaurant. On top of that, just trying to get the basics done has been crazy. I am trying to build a walkway for the back patio, book bands for Sat. nights, and keep tabs on the rental properties. AARRGGG.

It can be frustrating, but if I want to retire at 45, it will all be worth it.

Anyway...I also wanted to get the picture of me and Matt posted. I had a rockin' good time at the show (got a little intoxicated-sorry Wendy), but had a blast. Made it to work a little late the next day. My ears rang all day...it was awesome. I got a chance to meet the Surfers and buy them a shot of whiskey. I also managed to get on stage and have Matt saw hello to my wife Wendy. All in all a great time. I only wish I could see them live more often. The more I listen to them, the better they get. The more records they make, the more depth their music has. Keep on rockin'.

Had a great 4th of July...Aunt Lou raced her homemade boat in Brady Lake. It was made of cardboard and duct-tape. Good times. I love Aunt Lou.

Went golfing for the first time in about 8 years yesterday with Scotty Bamic. I forgot how bad I am at golf, but how much I enjoyed hanging out with an old friend.

I need to get back to work now. I have much to do for the upcoming year.

Goal for the week: Find 10 minutes everyday this week to play the Guild.

...Smile today could be your last.

Ok…It’s been a crazy month. Like, I don’t know how to put it into words. I have been overwhelmed by the on goings in my life. I guess I should start with Cooper, since that is where I left off…

Cooper was born on May 23, 2008 just after midnight. It was a Thursday, rolling into Friday. He weighed 8 lbs. 2 oz. It was a freaking miracle. Unbelievable. It truly is an indescribable event. It’s like something out of an alien movie when you think about it. I mean, here this thing is growing inside of your wife for the better part of a year, and then out it comes, and now you are responsible for him. Amazing.

When Cooper was born, Wendy was in some pain, and was bleeding, a lot. I was torn too, because I didn’t know where to go. I mean, here is this beautiful baby boy that I want to say ‘hello’ to, but my wife is shaking, and miserable. On top of everything else, I am trying to take still pictures and video tape everything as well.

Anyway, the whole process went really great. I just couldn’t be happier that we have a healthy, active little man in our lives. Hard to believe I am someone’s Dad sometimes.

Since the birth, we have had a ton else going on. Yep, we bought a restaurant. We are supposed to close and sign papers this Monday the 30th of June, which is also my Dad’s birthday. We moved into the house on the property a couple of weeks ago. I think we will be ok here for a long while. Wendy and I have moved four times in five years, and I am tired of that shit. Time to get settled and start making some money. At this point, I think we have almost everything the way we want it. With July 1st rolling around fast, we are trying to get every last detail in order. We hung Cooper’s pictures on the wall last night (they are super cool), and painted a bookshelf for him. I think the dogs like the property as well, and my friend Mark is coming out to install an invisible fence on Tuesday. Should be an interesting day all the way around.

So, here’s a little about what we did:

The Rusty Nail sits on 8.1 acres of land on St. Rt. 43 in Kent, Oh. We live in a five bedroom apartment (2 ½ bath), which is attached to the restaurant. The restaurant looks really nice inside, and Wendy and I can’t wait to adapt our flare into the menu, and get a later crowd in. We hope and think that there is a market for a bar that will be open until 1:00 on the weekends, especially now that Mangiamo is gone (that is sad).

Anyway, in addition to that we now also have a banquet hall, a catering business, and an in-ground pool. Awesome! I can’t believe this is all happening. I hope that Wendy is happy doing this, because it will be her full time job. I know she can handle it. I have faith and believe in my wife.

So, on top of moving, the new baby, taking over a business, and trying to get the rental property’s squared away for the upcoming year, we are and have been very, very busy. Oh yeah, did I mention that I still work full time…ha!

I dig it though, and I keep telling people that I am going to be retired at 45. They just laugh at me and tell me “That’s what I thought too.”, but you watch, I will do it! Motivation is a powerful tool.

Hope all is well…

Smile…Today could be your last.